Dosboy's Bits and Bytes

Oh Sarcasm, how I miss you.  Let me give you the latest play-by-play of how sarcasm can bite you in the ass here in the Land of Smiles.

GF, my friend and I went out earlier.  My friend and I wanted to leave, but she wanted to stay, so I told her to take a motorbike taxi back when she was done (about 50 baht).  She called me about an hour later asking me to come pick her up.  I said no since I was working and since due to traffic getting there and back it would've taken me about 30 mins in a car (and would take the motorbike taxi about 5 from where she was at).  She then proceeded to tell me that I didn't love her because I wouldn't pick her up.  This is where things went awry.

Text message from GF (spelling corrected):  Hi do you love me? Now I thinking you don't love me same and you don't care about me.
Text message from me:  Has nothing to do with love. I'm not a taxi driver and I'm working so that I can make some money. Take motorbike taxi. [Friend] has my car [which was true, though he only borrowed it for about 30 mins].
Follow-up text message from me about a minute later (this is where the sarcasm enters and things go awry):  Call [friend]. Maybe he loves you more than me and will pick you up.

GF then proceeds to call me and lay into me about how she doesn't want to sleep with my friend (whaaaa?) and that she's angry at me for suggesting it (double whaaaa?).  I try to explain sarcasm.  It doesn't work.  She gets angrier then threatens to go sleep with someone else because I suggested it.

OH MY GOD I MISS SARCASM!