Dosboy's Bits and Bytes

I've come to the realization over the last month or two that I'm going to need a new passport.  My existing one only has one free page, and I have just under a month left on my Thai visa (just under 2 months if I do a 30 day extension).  But as soon as I leave the country to, say, Laos, that last page will be used up by a Laos visa and I'll have nowhere to put my next Thai visa.  So I need a new passport.

Turns out that the process for applying for a passport abroad is a big PITA.  According to the application I still need a guarantor and my birth certificate.  Well, I don't have my birth certificate with me (I think it's in a box somewhere between Toronto and Waterloo) and I obviously don't have a Canadian guarantor in my luggage either.  So wtf am I supposed to do?  I've emailed the Consulate here, but I have a feeling it's going to involve mailing shit from Canada to here, which is not exactly the cheapest or fastest method in the world to achieve these goals.  And passport processing takes 15 business days, which means I need to have all my ducks lined up no later than early November.

I hate bureaucracy.